My 15 Minutes of...

the three ring circus that awaited me at home. I spent 3 nights in Vancouver with my sister and brother-in-law, and just got back near lunchtime. Lots of traffic on both sides, but nothing unexpected, just loud as we all roared into Victoria as a pod of ferry passengers, often surrounded by trucks on all sides. I almost felt like I was on the 401 again...egads. So I was glad when I finally hit Fernwood and my little dead-end street...ahhh, home, peace, quiet and my own bed! I pulled into the parking lot, and loaded up the first load to carrying into my first floor apartment. And then I heard a text message come in. I don't get many but my sister and daughter both text me, and my sister was driving on terrible roads today so I knew it was probably her, but I had my arms full and couldn't answer it in my purse at the time. I figured I'd grab it once I took the first load in. 


I should have  known...I think she heard me drive up, so pulled a Mabel - she timed her exit from her apartment for when I arrived at mine so as to entice a chat. Mabel hung out the same dishcloth 20 times a day as you were coming up the road so she could have a quick chat with you as you walked up the road, talking all the way. Mabel was completely harmless, and a dear kind soul, where as this one next door to me seems to have an evil gossipy spirit; one I am trying to tune out and off. Is it the end of January yet? So anyway, that was the first hit. I was ushered over close by to hear the latest gossip. Something about this one made reports to the office about that one, and she said this, and her cat that, and blah blah blah more stuff I honestly tried not to listen to as my head was spinning from all the roar of the traffic and I just wanted to put my damn armload down and get into my house where Stormy was clawing up the door for me to come in already. 


I finally begged off and threw my stuff in, then went back out to grab the mail down past her apt. She was up smoking, and I got hauled in again...RUN! Then another text message came in. I still couldn't answer it. I was loaded up with the second lot from the van, trying to get the feck inside before I cornered again. I managed to get in with the last of it, Stormy wrapped around my legs, tripping me at each and every opportunity, the stench of an unchanged litterbox permeating my tiny apartment. I saw my voicemail was blinking and wasn't expecting any calls so thought best to check it right away. After wrestling with a hateful automated system, two telemarketing messages, and one from my doctor, I was just returning the doctor's call, and set the next appointment, when another text message chirped in. Okay, three of them, it might be serious. I should check it. Then the phone rang before I could. Stormy is still wrapping himself around me and meowing his usual complaints. The stench of cat litter is nearly ready to put me out, as I had all the windows closed while I was away (ground floor apt). It was another telemarketer. Choice words....click. I finally got to check my text messages, three from my sister and one from a friend I didn't hear come in. There was rotten weather but they were fine. Okay. Good. Then the phone rang, student loan people asking dumb questions. Piss off. 


So I thought I would check the mail, and found only one piece I had to do anything with and a lot of junk. I called to confirm an appointment and I'll be damned if the texts didn't continue. All I wanted to do was scoop the damn poop and open the windows and pick up the cat before I punted him out of the way. Breathe in, breathe out. Okay...the craziness finally settled. This all happened within about 15 minutes. I hadn't even taken my shoes or sweater off at this point. 


I managed to get something made for lunch and just finished that when the phone rang again. This time a recruitment agency wanting to interview me for positions in Australia. We were on the phone for well over an hour I reckon. That is a whole other story...